post birthday bliss

I had a strange birthday.

One of hot chocolate and public crying. (thanks Keltie for ratting out exactly HOW insane I am)

Of beautiful flowers delivered to the door. Makes me feel so glamorous to have flowers delivered.

Of flour-less, chocolate cake made by husband and children…YUMMYYYY!

Of meeting Mr. F. my new best present. I get the honor of hearing him call me Auntie Tova as soon as he’s verbal. He is long, perfect, cute (even as a newborn) and healthy. I missed the birth as his mommy is one of these very efficient people. Almost too efficient.    That’s what paramedics are for!!

And then I finished the night off with going to our favourite bistro/restaurant where the owner knows us and had glasses of champagne at the table as my present. We then had mussles and bistro fries (DELICIOUS) and I finished the night off with a Mango Martini.

That’s my, I already had champagne and David is making stupid jokes, face.

All in all, a good day. David and the kids had flowers and chocolate all over the house for me. Which I think should remain a permanent fixture in our house.

Excitement!

One of the big exciting things in my life is that it is my BIRTHDAY!

One year ago I turned 30 in Swaziland with my new son in my arms and visited a lovely farm/foster home for children. It was a joyous day with children singing Happy Birthday to me.

Today I have been kicked out of the house and am currently sitting in the sunshine drinking the thickest, darkest hot chocolate ever made. I can feel the caffeine and sugar rushing through my system.

My friend is in active labor and so I am sitting with my cell phone glued to my hip. It would be a lovely birthday present to have a new baby in my world.

Sipping with bated breath!

Sneaking

Easter chocolate.  I must replace it. But I should make sure that I buy it at the last second so that I don’t just eat it again.

Last post placement visit today. Wow. A year with my baby.

Weeding my garden is such a relief and a great outlet for angst. I really should have done it a year ago. But I was busy. Now if I can get my butt in gear and go get some compost and poop, I will plant veggies this year. Not in an effort to save money. Or the environment, but to show my children that veggies come from plants, not a bag at the store. Next up, chickens!? Ummm, nope.

I hate cancer. No, not me. But I hate it.

Why does everything exciting happen at once? I might have loads of surprising stuff to tell all of you. And then again, maybe I won’t. We will see. In the meantime, I sure am kept on my toes.

My dog ate a bag of plastic outside. Tomorrow we will invent an exciting game of ‘lets see how many bits of plastic we can find!’ The winner gets a prize!

Someone very dear to me is mega pregnant and I am now sleeping with the phone beside the bed. Very exciting. I might get to go and watch from the other end, so to speak. I would be utterly delighted and honored if that were to happen. Whenever I am bored/tired/grumpy/angsty I just think that I could get ‘the call’ at any moment and it cheers me right up.

Anybody watch that stupid TV series off shoot from Greys An***y called Priv*te Pr*ctice? There was an episode where the in-control woman gets acupuncture and the therapist tells her that he is going to let her cry. She scoffs and then ends up crying. Well, I went for acupuncture. And my therapist said she was going to trigger some grief points. When she checked up on me I told her it was working. Through tears. Still makes me laugh. And I feel loads better.

‘nough said.

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Veeery Random stuff

I hate vomit. I hate cleaning vomit off of carpet. I hate holding small vomiting bodies.  Gladly, the vomit-er is on the mend. Phew!

Stupid people of today:

I saw one immature and self-righteous facebook message. One email from someone spamming my sister’s email addresses calling her a liar. One phone call telling me that it takes a very special type of person to be able to homeschool and that I should never do it. (nice to know I’m not special) One person blowing me off, again. One person mad at me but unwilling to tell me about it….just others.

Ugh.

This does however remind me of what’s important.

My six year old son is no longer exhibiting signs of anxiety. My daughter is talking to me more than ever. The words are pouring forth, and with it, the affection. My baby gazed into my eyes tonight with complete love and trust while I gave him his bottle. (yes, I know, he’s over one and shouldn’t have a bottle anymore. So sue me)  I have friends that have loved me no matter what. I have friends that I can weep with. I have a home, crumbly rental, albeit, but a home. I have lots of food in the house. It might be simple food, but it’s healthy and wholesome. I have lots of laughter. Watching my baby dance his butt off to veggie tales is hysterical. I have a blog that I can vent on.

Random stuff #3 or is it #4?

I want a career change. I am a very overqualified landscape designer/contractor. Which is a bad career with children. As you kind of work 7 days, 12 hours in the summer. So, I’m thinking of a career switch. I would love a career that allowed me to stay home, not actually work, and paid loads of money. But sadly, no career offers those perks without severe emotional baggage, among other things. Ahem. Anyway, I’m tired and should be sleeping.

So here’s what I’m thinking.

Social worker. Only in adoption and that’s unrealistic.

Childhood counselor.

Author.

Rich housewife.

I am polling for votes and more suggestions of options. Now is your chance to give me your opinion on my life. Go!

Interesting read…

I found this an interesting read. Not life changing or earth shattering, but interesting.  Not saying I agree with all of it, or disagree.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/28/opinion/28kristof.html

And, as a response to all your wonderful comments, I have to say that I have realized I cope in more ways than I thought, more often than I thought.

Sheri, I too, clean when I am unhappy or stressed. And then the fact that we live in a falling down home that is permanently grubby bothers me so badly I have to leave.

Rana, I too, will lose myself in a show. An entire season for a few weeks. The last one: I’m almost ashamed to admit. ‘The Biggest Loser’   But there is something so satisfying with the results.

And I made doughnuts. Thanks Laura, but I used my Grandmother’s recipe. Much simpler, foolproof, and dare I say it? Healthy for a doughnut. But still exactly the right amount of fat and sugar to qualify as emotional feeding. I’m just sorry I can’t post a picture. The camera is gone. Missing. Poof. My darling husband has proven himself OCD in the last few days looking for it. I think Ben dropped it in the garbage, or the tech guy that was here fixing the internet, stole it. Either way, no camera, no money to buy a new one.

Sad me.

Off to eat some chocolate. I swear I could write a whole post on my relationship with chocolate…but I won’t.